Feelings..

So everytime I think i'm over something even just the slightest it comes back and bites me in the butt even harder. I was on facebook ( i know i have a addiction you dont have to tell me) and i wasnt even going to look at bobby's page, i've been doing really well at that lately, and then on my homepage i scrolled down to see what everyone was up to and derek bobby's best friend and brother in law had mentioned something about a girlfriend on bobbys page, so i had to go check it out, he said it wasn't anything but still the thought.. wow it was like a knife to my chest. I guess i still want us to be together forever.. like we had always talked and that this little spell will just end and it'll be like it never happened. now the logical part of me knows this is stupid but at the same time.. i dont know how to not want that, ya know?

i know i joke and love to look at boys but if it were to come down to dating other guys, i just dont think i could go through with it. thats bad. cuz obviously he's not having a problem at all...

sorry i know no one wants to read about me whining but i had to get this off my chest so i can maybe sleep a little tonight. otherwise.. ya. I cant wish that bobby and i never happened because this last year and a half was the best time i've ever had, bobby has played such an important role in so many things.. how do you get over someone who was so so detrimental to your life? I want to text him everyday just to see how things are but i stop myself because i'm afraid i'll just be the annoying ex. even though he said he wanted to stay friends i cant help but think that that was just to be nice.. anyways i'll quit hahah night.

better and more fun stuff tomorrow